So I bought this house. They were giving mortgages away to anybody at the time, so I picked up what I could afford. One of the things I got was incredible neighbors/friends that have become like family. The other thing I got was a bizarre mantle (not to mention a toilet and clawfoot tub that were painted with off-white latex paint among many other atrocities).
I am terrible at documenting before-and-after so I don’t have evidence, but the sucker was unbelievable. The carpentry employed in its fabrication was solid. There was a fairly tight radius on the one edge of the mantle done with carefully placed kerf cuts in a solid piece of oak. None of that mattered because of the overall lack of design aesthetic. What did matter is the three way light switch that created the illumination affects on the surround and wall above. These affects were:
- Doctor’s Office Institution Green
- Purpley Fishbowl Aquarium
- Satan’s Sexy Time Love Nest
I think I tore the thing out the first week of having the keys.
The discovery of the carpentry details in the demolition caused me a bit of guilt. The poor sap put a lot of time and care into creating the thing. He had to have gotten loads of lovin’ in front of it. All he had to do was flip that switch to fire up the ballast on the red tinted florescent bulb and his old lady’s Pavlovian response was probably as predictable as throwing on some Marvin Gaye and opening a bottle of Courvoisier. Tragedy and Comedy rolled into one.
I could take some lessons though. Were I done with this project, my own wife would probably like me more. Not that she dislikes me, but there is plenty I could do to make her less irate with the transitional state of our living arrangement. HOWEVER, like a <nerdy paraphrasing>wizard, I do things when the time is right, neither early or late</nerdy paraphrasing>.
Piles of thumbnails and sketches have accumulated on a part time basis over the past six years. The result is the weeding out of the overbuilt/extravagant and cheesy and the arrival at something that is appropriate for the space yet still going to create a commanding presence in the room. Not all the details are worked out yet, but construction has begun to accommodate the installation of a wood burning insert (more on this in a separate post).
The elimination of the notion of a connected, built-in cabinet to the left of the mantle proved to be key. The room is too small to handle such a titanic intrusion into its space. Still doing a transforming entertainment-center/settle that will live to the left of the hearth but on a more appropriate scale. Plus it will be able to come with us if we ever leave this house.
Sketchup Rendering (click to see larger image).
Really enjoying the execution. Makes me wonder if part of my living could be made doing mantles for people. One of the best things I have ever created was a mantle (Link leads to my website for my stab at making a living doing custom furniture. The work is good, the site is barely okay – was kind of busy making objects at the time. A redesign is under way which will include projects that have yet to be posted.)